Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
