if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
