Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
