Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
