I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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