OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
