By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
