1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
