I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
