OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
home. puking in laundry basket.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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