i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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