I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
