i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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