i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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