I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
