i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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