Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
