Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
