dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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