Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
