Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
