Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
