why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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