I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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