i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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