i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
