..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize