Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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