that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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