He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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