My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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