I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
