eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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