I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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