High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
