so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
