My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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