Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
