That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
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I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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