the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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