I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
