i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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