is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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