i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
