The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We need a shit load of segways right now
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
