She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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