i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
