Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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