Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
