I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
