it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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