i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
