mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
