Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
