Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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