I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize