I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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